andyschickenscratch

city girl meets country living, chickens, adventures, humor

I Do All My Own Stunts

on October 31, 2014

I love my heating pad and especially in the colder months, which in Canada is about 10 months out of the year. There is nothing better than curling up with a fuzzy blanket and my heating pad and watching T.V. Seriously who would have thought that something as simple as plugging in my heating pad could become a life and death situation, I guess if you know me it wouldn’t be that hard to imagine though. This could be because some of my pervious accidents have included but not limited to breaking my foot by shutting it in the shop door, scratching my cornea with an overly aggressive spruce bow, tearing the ligaments in my ankle in an attempt to show off my best Footloose slide and the one thing I may never live down was when I accidentally poisoned myself.
So now you have some idea that plugging in a heating pad for some people may be a simple task but for me, well, here is how it turned into something that was anything but simple. Everyone had gone to bed for the night and I thought I would take the time to enjoy the peace and quiet. I planned to curl up on the couch with my fuzzy blanket and of course my heating pad and catch up on the PVR. I got my pj’s and my fuzzy socks on, gathered up my pillows, my fuzzy blanket (I was made for a much warmer climate) and my heating pad. Now because our couch is L shaped it is quite heavy and covers up the plug-in I needed for my heating pad. Grabbing the couch from the bottom I slid it across the laminate flooring just far enough so I could reach my arm between the couch and the wall and plug in and get the comfy party started. Standing in front of the couch I leaned forward and reached down with my right arm trying to find the outlet, I could just feel the top edge of it with my finger tips so I pushed up on to my tippy toes so I could just get that little more……my feet slipped and went out from under me, my body lurched forward moving the couch back in to it original position with only my arm in its way. It all happened so fast and when the dust bunnies settled I was totally and completely trapped. I was left with my feet hanging just above the floor, my body stretched completely out and right arm pinned between the couch and the wall. I mean there was no moving and it took me a minute to figure out how exactly to get out of this situation, I thought about yelling out for help but I didn’t want to wake up the whole household nor did I want to explain how I ended up like this. Obviously my cat-like reflexes had failed me and I am neither a Ninja nor a Yoga Master so for the first few minutes I flayed around like a fish out of water just praying to touch the floor so I could push myself up and get my arm, which was now starting to go numb, free. I was starting to think that this was something that a normal person would have to get a stunt double perform because of level of difficulty involved, in this case, was expert or dumb ass depending on how you looked at it. I had to get my lower body up on the couch so that I could get into a kneeling position and push away from the wall. Busting out my best dance moves I wiggled and squirmed my way up onto the couch so that I was finally able to get into the correct position. Once I had accomplished that I had to push with all my might againist the wall with my left arm to get the couch to move so that I could reach freedom. This however was not an easy task either but some how little by little I was able to move it back far enough to slide my arm out. After I was finally free had one last thing to decide, I mean as it stood the only witness to my latest adventure was the Basset Hound and I was pretty sure he wouldn’t rat me out, so to tell or to keep my latest mishap to myself…….
Have a beautiful day 🙂


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