andyschickenscratch

city girl meets country living, chickens, adventures, humor

I Do All My Own Stunts

I love my heating pad and especially in the colder months, which in Canada is about 10 months out of the year. There is nothing better than curling up with a fuzzy blanket and my heating pad and watching T.V. Seriously who would have thought that something as simple as plugging in my heating pad could become a life and death situation, I guess if you know me it wouldn’t be that hard to imagine though. This could be because some of my pervious accidents have included but not limited to breaking my foot by shutting it in the shop door, scratching my cornea with an overly aggressive spruce bow, tearing the ligaments in my ankle in an attempt to show off my best Footloose slide and the one thing I may never live down was when I accidentally poisoned myself.
So now you have some idea that plugging in a heating pad for some people may be a simple task but for me, well, here is how it turned into something that was anything but simple. Everyone had gone to bed for the night and I thought I would take the time to enjoy the peace and quiet. I planned to curl up on the couch with my fuzzy blanket and of course my heating pad and catch up on the PVR. I got my pj’s and my fuzzy socks on, gathered up my pillows, my fuzzy blanket (I was made for a much warmer climate) and my heating pad. Now because our couch is L shaped it is quite heavy and covers up the plug-in I needed for my heating pad. Grabbing the couch from the bottom I slid it across the laminate flooring just far enough so I could reach my arm between the couch and the wall and plug in and get the comfy party started. Standing in front of the couch I leaned forward and reached down with my right arm trying to find the outlet, I could just feel the top edge of it with my finger tips so I pushed up on to my tippy toes so I could just get that little more……my feet slipped and went out from under me, my body lurched forward moving the couch back in to it original position with only my arm in its way. It all happened so fast and when the dust bunnies settled I was totally and completely trapped. I was left with my feet hanging just above the floor, my body stretched completely out and right arm pinned between the couch and the wall. I mean there was no moving and it took me a minute to figure out how exactly to get out of this situation, I thought about yelling out for help but I didn’t want to wake up the whole household nor did I want to explain how I ended up like this. Obviously my cat-like reflexes had failed me and I am neither a Ninja nor a Yoga Master so for the first few minutes I flayed around like a fish out of water just praying to touch the floor so I could push myself up and get my arm, which was now starting to go numb, free. I was starting to think that this was something that a normal person would have to get a stunt double perform because of level of difficulty involved, in this case, was expert or dumb ass depending on how you looked at it. I had to get my lower body up on the couch so that I could get into a kneeling position and push away from the wall. Busting out my best dance moves I wiggled and squirmed my way up onto the couch so that I was finally able to get into the correct position. Once I had accomplished that I had to push with all my might againist the wall with my left arm to get the couch to move so that I could reach freedom. This however was not an easy task either but some how little by little I was able to move it back far enough to slide my arm out. After I was finally free had one last thing to decide, I mean as it stood the only witness to my latest adventure was the Basset Hound and I was pretty sure he wouldn’t rat me out, so to tell or to keep my latest mishap to myself…….
Have a beautiful day 🙂

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A Long Night

Picture if you will a dark and stormy night and a little fabulous Frizzle rooster named Franklin, lost in the woods…..
No, seriously it really was a dark and stormy night and the wind that howled carried with it a reminder that winter would soon be here, in fact the wind had blown so hard that it had blown the coop door shut. With no way to get in to the coop the girls and one fabulous Frizzle rooster had figured out different places to roost for the night. Plum (my favorite hen) was roosted on the duck house so I carefully picked her up and carried her to the coop, the whole way she informed me about her displeasure of being locked out of her own house for the night. I in returned explained that I was so sorry and did what any responsible adult would do and I blamed it on the kids. I set her gently on the coop floor and told her I was truly sorry. I then went back and got one of her chicks that had been roosted next to her and carried her to the coop, thankfully she chose the the silent treatment. Okay that’s 2 down now only 8 more hens, and one fabulous Frizzle rooster left to round up,no problem. I mean really how hard can it be to find a bunch of chickens in the dark, not to worry I have an app for that, well not for finding chickens, although a tracking device for locating free ranging chickens would be an awesome idea, but my app is a flashlight on my phone. I stood in the middle of the yard armed with my mighty phone flash light and looked around hoping that I would hear a little “hey over here.” the only thing I could hear was the howling of the wind and Plum she was now roosted in the hen-house still expressing her displeasure, I actually hoped that all her clucking would get some response from the missing ones, but nope of course it can’t be that easy. Where to start and then it dawned on me, the hay shed.
Sure enough I found Red we use to have a Blue, 29 ,I got her for my birthday and I named her after my age of course, okay so that may have been my age a few years ago but who’s counting and Grace our beautiful Lavender Orpington all roosted on the back braces of the shed. Directly below them on a pile of hay was One Fabulous Frizzle named Franklin, you see the very thing that makes Franklin so amazingly handsome is also the same thing that makes him unable to fly, his curly feathers. The hens were high enough up that I figured that they would be safe for the night but little Franklin was prime for the picking being that he was pretty much roosted on the ground so I reached down and picked him up and that’s when he let out what I can only describe as a chicken scream and jumped out of my arms. He did not stick around for me to pick him up again, he actually took off at full speed across the yard. Concerned for his safety I ran after him shining my flashlight on him like I was the police with a spotlight and he was one of America’s Most Wanted. I was gaining on him when kicked in his jet pack, his little legs were moving at top speed and then to make the chase more interesting he added the old “bob and weave, bob and weave move.” We were just about to the coop when he zigged and I zagged at full speed and he ran straight into a the harrows on the ground. The sound he made before was nothing compared to this death cry. I figured that any coyotes that missed hearing exactly where the first cry had come from were surely locked on to his location now. Some how he just bounced off the harrows and with his speed not slowing he headed straight in to the bushes behind our house. Now the fact that he can’t hardly fly and he’s now crying at the top of his lungs I just knew that he would be gone before morning. A rooster with his amazingly good looks does not come around every day and I headed in for the night thinking that I would never be able to replace him……it was a long night! The next morning I headed out to see what we had left for Chickens and I was happy to hear the little Cock a Doodle Doo that I have come to love. There stood Franklin in the middle of the yard, standing proud with his little head held high in the air and he was calling his girls in. Thankful they all survived the night.

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder.......

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder…….

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